Conversations in a Coffee Shop
He walks into the coffee shop and heads straight to my table.
- Hi, My name is J. What's yours? Would you like to play chess?
- OK, let’s play. I haven’t played in a while. My name is R. Where is your accent from?
- From being uneducated. I forgot how to spell, and, as a result, I don't know how to pronounce things properly... Would you like to have dinner with me?
- Let's finish this chess game first.
He is very charming and intense, in a non-aggressive kind of way.
-I am half-Native American and half-Hispanic. What about your accent?
He tells me that he had served in Vietnam when very young, and that he attends the nearby AA meetings...
We talk, the conversation flows, there is an uncanny rapport attained immediately. He is quite psychic, and he plays the guitar and harmonica. He picks up the guitar and starts playing and singing. Then he departs. In a half-an-hour he returns.
- Would you have dinner with me now? We are a perfect match!
- Oh yes, we are. Can I write about you in my blog?
- Write about me? Of course! My mother would love to see you. Can you write about me so that my mother would read it and understand, at last, who I really am? I wonder who would cry first.
Oh, here he is again, a man who yearns for his mother's love. I feel what he needs, but I can't give it to him. I want to love a peer, and I want to be loved by someone for who I am, and not to be assigned any roles. I am not rescuing anyone any longer, and I've already raised my own children.
His words pierce my heart. I am in love with him already. I will not fall in love deeply with him, ever. I just love him, period... At this moment, I do. I know only too well what it's like to live with someone who's an alcoholic. I couldn't stand it even for one day. Of course, everyone deserves love, and he has mine. He is so lovable, it is painful for me to be writing this post. I just don't want to spend my life with him...
Oh, and I am sure he thinks that I take things way too seriously:) ....
- Hi, My name is J. What's yours? Would you like to play chess?
- OK, let’s play. I haven’t played in a while. My name is R. Where is your accent from?
- From being uneducated. I forgot how to spell, and, as a result, I don't know how to pronounce things properly... Would you like to have dinner with me?
- Let's finish this chess game first.
He is very charming and intense, in a non-aggressive kind of way.
-I am half-Native American and half-Hispanic. What about your accent?
He tells me that he had served in Vietnam when very young, and that he attends the nearby AA meetings...
We talk, the conversation flows, there is an uncanny rapport attained immediately. He is quite psychic, and he plays the guitar and harmonica. He picks up the guitar and starts playing and singing. Then he departs. In a half-an-hour he returns.
- Would you have dinner with me now? We are a perfect match!
- Oh yes, we are. Can I write about you in my blog?
- Write about me? Of course! My mother would love to see you. Can you write about me so that my mother would read it and understand, at last, who I really am? I wonder who would cry first.
Oh, here he is again, a man who yearns for his mother's love. I feel what he needs, but I can't give it to him. I want to love a peer, and I want to be loved by someone for who I am, and not to be assigned any roles. I am not rescuing anyone any longer, and I've already raised my own children.
His words pierce my heart. I am in love with him already. I will not fall in love deeply with him, ever. I just love him, period... At this moment, I do. I know only too well what it's like to live with someone who's an alcoholic. I couldn't stand it even for one day. Of course, everyone deserves love, and he has mine. He is so lovable, it is painful for me to be writing this post. I just don't want to spend my life with him...
Oh, and I am sure he thinks that I take things way too seriously:) ....
posted by Irina | 10:29 PM
2 Comments:
Oh, this is such a lovely piece! It's honest, it touches the human core. You are not alone. This is the natural impulse for many who had to parent those who were the parents. How wonderful that you can love without being pulled in. I love the fact that you are holding the door wide open to invite and wait for the one you truly deserve and want.
Thank you, it's nice that you can relate to it, Ebbs...It's all true, too.
Holding the door open is hard at times. There are days when one despairs, and then there are other days when one forgets to despair:)
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